hello age :p

it's birthday time again. i think i feel the age.. i can't quite be bothered with the crazy partying and getting drunk anymore. hahaha. poor chor ming doesn't have to play guardian again. snorts.

this year is a lot more quiet, more subdued. haha, and yet more intimate and casual i suppose. it's simply about spending time with people i love (:

from my 22nd birthday to this 23rd, i don't feel like i've grown much really. i haven't felt like i've moved very far forward, though i feel i've learnt alot, especially in the 6 months i was working. the only thing that grew, is my desire for greater things and my determination to get there. at least my 23rd year in this world wasn't wasted :p

haha. i'm really unwilling to say i'm 23 now (though i seem to have forgotten my age at times and have been stumped when ppl ask me how old i am, then hurriedly answer 23 -.-)

happy birthday (soon) me (:

i don't know when it started, or what caused it.. but i no longer like the perfect, polished, sparkly and well put-together part of life. i used to be afraid of dirt and mess. i'm still deathly afraid of things that flutter and skitter, but flopping on sunny patches of grass, moshing with others in the crowd and traveling the unknown in old rattling trains is what i've grown accustomed to. road-side food, warm homestays or hostels and wandering the quiet streets. that's what i like. too often i find the shiny sparkly side to have a deep dark underbelly that disgusts and scares me. it's just too much sometimes.

and might i add, regardless of how much you think you've seen the world, or how much you think i haven't seen, you have no bloody right to judge me or treat me like a prissy little princess. fuck off.